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She’s the biggest selling female artist of all time (seriously. This shit’s undisputed. Yes, more than Mariah), she’s mad as a box of hair, and we j’adore her like you wouldn’t believe. Or maybe you would. And we interviewed her in her suite in Vegas (and when we say suite, this place was bigger than an entire Barratt housing estate). These are the real life words – on drinks, drugs and the gays - from Celine Dion’s very own mouth…

Loving the whole new look with the huge hair and everything…
Thank you. You know, it’s not really risqué, because… maybe for me, because people are used to seeing me pretty much simpler, maybe, not as forward; I would have a shirt under my jacket. But I feel like I want to play, I want to have a good time. That hair is to play, that make-up is to play, and those songs are to play, and those things that we try on the album, and pictures, it’s just pictures. I’m doing it for fun, because I love doing it.

Do you mind that people say ‘she’s a bit geeky’?
What does that mean?

It means sort of like ‘a good girl’.
But I am a good girl. I’m such a good girl.

Have you got a naughty side?
I don’t think so. I’m that good. I’m a good girl. I’m not a troublemaker. I party when it’s time. I don’t do drugs. I don’t drink.

Have you ever done drugs?

Not even one little puff?
The only time I did one puff was in Holland, where it’s legal. And I went to a cafeteria with some girls, with the little boats and the canals and we stopped and I tried.

Nothing. No. But I didn’t choke. I took one puff and I said, ‘Ok, nothing happened!’ It was funny. It was for us like cheating. ’Oooh!’ You know, there might be paparazzi!

And you don’t drink at all?
Occasionally. Champagne, a glass of wine…

When were you last squiffy?
What is squiffy?

A little bit drunk.
The last time a little bit was at Pure [a Vegas nightclub], the last party we had at Pure and I think I had three tequilas, double tequilas.

Under the table!
[Laughs] Don’t start any trouble now!

The bad side of Celine Dion…
Yeah, she had three double tequilas! It was with Rene and we were both of us, ‘Woo, we should go home, so glad to have a chauffeur.’

Before you come out of the loo with your dress tucked in your knickers…!
No, I have a lot of people in my entourage, they do a good job! Of course. I was not drunk but I was a little bit like you said – squiffy. I like that word - I’ll try to remember it!

Have you ever seen a drag queen doing Celine Dion?
Actually, yes. A few. And I work with a lot of gay people as well. And I have to say that we do work pretty well together. I’m somebody who has a strong personality and I’m strong in my gestures and I think they like that from me.

Did you learn anything about yourself from the drag queen?
I’m not trying to really say ‘Oh my God, do I do that?’ No. I do look at what they do. Actually sometimes they make me laugh backstage, they put my stuff on and they do my gestures, and they try to make me laugh. It works!

Fire them!
You know what, I think gay people know how to have fun! And if you can’t have a good time and just play, it’s not worth it. You have to have a good time.

And what if your little boy turns out to be one of the boys?
I want him to be successful as a human being. I want my son to be able to talk to me. I’m with him, I wanted that son. If he’s a gay person, he’s not any less of my son, or any less happy for that.